Self-made and Self-discovered Watersheds

So when did it become so hard for you?
Looking back
Searching through the times and moments
Was there a moment or era that your heart came crashing down
When the snug secure facade of childhood broke loose and drifted
When it came clear.
Was it when you learned you had to “work”?
Was it when you realized that not all dreams come true?
That there are weakness and disappointments
Can you find it somewhere hidden? Or
Maybe it is right there where it always resides
Just below the surface
Where you abandoned it, left it un-attended all these years.
~
And so have you found your watershed
That place in time, that self-made reality
That haunts and taunts
That slips into your very workings and says to you most every day:
That there are things that you can do and things you can’t?
Moments of control and times of wild wild chaos
And the reality that reality is too big to touch and embrace?
And that there are limits both self-made and limits beyond our control?
Have you found a time
Have you given yourself that gift
Of peaceful self-awareness
Where you stop the struggle that renders you impossible
And joyfully recognize and accept that
This is how it works?
And so gracefully, peacefully, without regret
And self-flagellation
Become just who you are and who you should be?
Have you found it?
Have you?
And do you know that it’s ok?