Would it shock you to know
would it cost me to admit
would it amuse you perhaps
my ulterior motives?
They lie there just under the skin
hidden from view
some not so subtle
while others are buried and denied
They are the little tunes
that I whistle in the dark...
At the party
we stand elbow to elbow.
You know me from work
or as a friend of a friend
or maybe we are life long partners,
and we talk
maybe business, a little pleasure
mostly innocent chat
maybe a flirt
and you take an accounting of me
as I make an inventory of you,
(to be filed after while in a social dossier.)
I am looking in your shadows
listening to your in-breath
referencing your nuances
and in those moments
and later that day and days to come
as tasty as any hors d'oeuvres,
and tucked away
for another time,
to play again in scenarios not yet conceived,
like a line from a verse that is not yet written.
I let them churn a bit in the gut
ferment and brew
until they become a shadowy reality
pulsing quietly and randomly
crossing the hot line from the head
to just below the navel.
Is It a Want or a Need?
These motives are not mean things,
but they are surely selfish.
And likely much more of a want
than a need,
and devious in degrees perhaps
like half truths
and strategic omissions
these, my private thoughts about you.
So why this game of "if" and "then when?"
this game within the game
sometimes with a sting...
Is it perhaps the need for a fall back plan?
or perhaps the need for a life more full?
Girdings for some contest or coming battle?
Or a little danger,
Exotic and mysterious,
to tweak the dormant glands?
maybe you don't have a hidden agenda,
(are you're so open and rational?)
Maybe you don't have an ulterior motive.
But I say they are there
yours and mine
and maybe you just haven't looked...?