Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Oh Sh*t!

Oh Sh*t!

It's a noun, it's a verb, it's an interjection! What-a word! Spanning the globe, crossing the ages!

And as we all know it comes by various names...I prefer to call it poop. Do-do is too-too silly, crap too harsh and binding, excrement too technical, too ceremonial, and brown trout...well, just way too funny! Yes, so I prefer poop; a nice round word, so very descriptive, almost onomatopoeia poetry, just the way it ought to be.

It seems to be the topic of many ages: When very young, it is a function moderated and congratulated. When a teen, at least for boys, it is a marvel, a moving accomplishment, the term often accompanied by the adjectives: massive, awesome, huge, tremendous, etc. When elderly, we marvel once more at these passages, triumphantly, satisfied, and relieved!

And if you can't, what a bind, such a shame ,and sometimes just a pain in the ass. My doctor is concerned enough to have a chart with graphics of poop, instructing: Please circle the picture that looks like yours. I guess drawing your own self portrait would be out of the question.

I eat oatmeal often. High in fiber, so it is an easy-in easy-out meal. Sort of a soft serve of sorts. Easy on the moving parts too!

Pondering poop, I wonder: why is it held in such high disregard?

The smell? Well there is that, pwew! The nose knows, so watch your step.

Night soil's bad reputation of harboring pathogens means that it may be unhealthy. But maybe better food would give us better health? What we need to grow these foods is some good, cheap, readily available fertilizer...oh ya... Nature calls (she never texts) so don't let the good stuff go to waste.

And taking a poop ( or leaving it more precisely) is such a leveling human event. As the book says, everyone poops!

The event can take place in a quiet moment, (except for the rumbles), and in a quiet location. Meditative and solitary, you might just find yourself with a few personal minutes. Maybe read, write, or just look out a window at the view. Sitting on your throne you reign supreme, you are king or queen for the day!

I have a Lovable Loo, which means I poop in a bucket in a box. Later it becomes composts. Then when the fungi and bacteria and worms and larvae have had their way, it goes back onto the ground, nice and brown, to fertilize the trees and shrubs. Seems right doesn't it? Waste not want not. And why spoil five gallons of perfectly good water just to flush it away to … ? I prefer to drink water. Leave it to the fish to poop in the water...I'll give my poop back to the earth. I've never seen a dog or cat or horse or goat poop in a pond. And we all know where the bears go. Poop does seem destined to end there, quiet naturally, with just a little help and forethought. Mammalian manure, ya know? Where is this mythical land of away anyway? Away from me...

So with just a little more time and effort, I become responsible for my doings. Shouldn't we all be? Isn't there a Hawaiian word, poo-liana? Taking care of business? Some people just don't seem to give a shit.

How about you?
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